2015...Bring it ON!

It is New Years Eve! Super excited for this holiday. Even though it is just one date...it is a special date. Today is the last day of 2014. Tomorrow is a new year. Even though nothing really changes...the weather is still cold...the bills are still due...the laundry still needs to be folded. So why is today and tomorrow so important? It is all mind set. It is a new year, and a new year to make changes. This way we can say, "Oh I haven't done that since LAST year"!

This isn't to say that 2014 was a bad year. Not at all. 2014 was a great year! It was the year I turned 33. My last year to be in my EARLY 30's...and a double single number...should be lucky...right?

The year I moved into a place that for once...I felt like I could be proud of it and call it HOME. I would love it more if it had another bedroom...but we can always build one in the basement. But I smile every day when I wake up and realize I live here.

The year when I switched positions at work and enjoyed my job so much more. Sounds crazy to a lot of coworkers, but I really do enjoy my job now. I love my hours and the responsibility I have.

It was the year that I met and had a wonderful time with a great guy that showed me that I was worth it.  Even though we didn't work out, I know that there are great guys out there that aren't just looking to take advantage of me.

It was the year I was accepted into UWGB to finish my bachelors degree. Even though I withdrew before classes started, I was excited to know that I could do it again.

It was the year that I started crafting more and was able to relieve stress doing it. I felt more accomplished.

It was the year that started off slow...and will be ending pretty fast!

So many plans for 2015! Of course the typical ones of getting in shape, and eating healthy. Making a budget and saving money. Cleaning house and getting organized. But for 2015, there is so much more to look forward to!

2015 also brings insurance through work. I have elected to NOT take insurance for the last few years, but signed up for it for 2015. Now I can get a few things looked at that I have been needing to. One is to get my knee looked at and figure out what is wrong and what needs to be fixed. The other is to get my hormone levels checked to see why I have been losing so much hair. Plus some other more personal reasons.

2015 will hopefully bring another new position at work. This time a promotion...hopefully! It would put me back on a 2-2-3 schedule...but then I would be off every other weekend...and spend more time with my boys. It will still be on night shift, but I think I would like it more than I do my current position.

2015 will hopefully put me back on track with my college dreams. Now that my student loans are finally out of default, I qualify for financial aid to help pay for college. Even though I only have 2 years left...It should take me about 4 years to finish...I hope.

But as we all know...we can do the best at planning, but we actually have to put the effort in, if we want it done right. And even if we put in all the effort, it still might not work out. There are some things out of our control. And that is okay.

The best laid plans are meant to be broken...changed...rearranged...and maybe...just maybe...they will turn out better than you could ever imagine! That is my goal for 2015. Things work out the way they were meant to...I will just try to guide them along the current...missing as many rapids as I can...but growing strong with each paddle. 2015 will not be the same as the previous years...it might be better, it might be worse...but it will be new...and that...is all I ask for.

Welcome 2015...bring it on!

Last Facebook Blog

Christmas is over already? How did that happen? We have spent months planning and spending, decorating and obsessing, cooking and cleaning...and it is over already? Now what are we going to do? What is the next big holiday to decorate and get together? New Years Eve? Ehh...maybe. If you have kids, you are at home with them...if you don't you are usually at the bars...not a big family holiday get together. Valentines Day? Nah, that is more of a couples holiday. Maybe St. Patty's Day? Nope, that is more of a "go out and get drunk and puke up green" holiday. Easter! Easter is a nice family holiday...We can start preparing for Easter!

But in all honesty...it will be nice to have this break. With all of the end of the year holidays...this is now the calm down period. To sit back and reflect on the past year. What things worked...and what didn't. What we need to change...or as others say "you don't need to change...but if you want, you can IMPROVE on what you already have"...ehhh.

I know that there are things I want to do different...and things I don't want to change. I know last year I wanted to do a 52 weeks of Christmas thing. I have a small tree that I wanted to decorate every week with a different theme. Maybe I will actually do it next year...or the following year...lol

However, I have been thinking. I was off facebook for almost 2 months...and I actually enjoyed it. There was less stress and less drama. But the temptation was still there to check in. To worry about what others thought. To worry about what others didn't think. Too much confusion. So 2015 will be for me.

I will make decisions that I want. If I want to cut my hair I will....and not worry about meeting a great guy and finding out that he likes women with long hair. If I want to get a pet...I will...and not worry about meeting someone that is allergic to whatever pet I choose. I will learn to say no. I will learn to say how I really feel about situations. I will put myself and my kids first.

I will not be swayed by a cute guy with a so-so promise. I will not plan ahead in a relationship after only one date. I will not be taken in with a guilt trip. I will not stress out about other peoples problems. And I will not dumb myself down for others.

Yeah I know, I have said this every year...and every year...I don't follow through...and I have blogged about this before...but ehhh. Maybe if I type it enough...it will happen.

So this will be my last blog posted on Facebook. I will still be blogging, but I will no longer be posting them on Facebook. So have a Happy New Years and I wish the best for and your family for 2015. Feel free to save the link and check back in...or not...I'm not worried. I'm going to take this next week to make sure I have all my lists in check and plans ready to go. 2014 was a good year...but there is plenty of room for improvement.

But until 2015 starts I have dishes to do...laundry to fold...and 6 legos to remove from the bottom of my feet. Plus because the boys thought I needed something to help me "wake up"...they bought me ANOTHER coffee pot. Exactly the same one I already have. So now I have two coffee pots to use...even though I rarely drink coffee...lol. Maybe they are trying to tell me something.

So now I have two full pots of coffee brewing...and dishes drying...and the kids are putting away laundry...and I am smiling. Even if nothing else gets done this year...today was a good day.

One more week to go...then the new and improved me will begin. Super excited...and of course scared of the outcome. But no matter what, I will have my family behind me, and my friends beside me...and my boys running in front of me...and me...I will be fine. Surrounded by love...and legos...lots and lots of legos....

Not Medicated Enough

Christmas is in two days. I am not ready. Ok, I am done shopping and wrapping, but mentally I am not ready. Christmas is suppose to be a time of family get togethers and being happy and thankful and bright colors...or so we are told. We all have had the years when fights had started...and people were missing...or times were tough. I won't say that this year will be the worst...but it definitely isn't the one I would hope for.

This is the year that I don't have my kids for Christmas Eve. Yes I know this happens every other year....but it is still hard. I love my kids...I really do...but they are driving EVERYONE crazy this year. Not just me, but their dad and stepmom too! The oldest two just won't stop fighting and it raises the stress level up many more that I am medicated for.

Today I brought them to Walmart to finish their Christmas shopping for me and their brothers. I gave them each $30 ($10 for each brother, and $10 for me), plus another $20 to the oldest two to get me a "santa" gift). They took turns going off to pick out presents. It was great! They got along, had fun, and had to work together and either agree to share the money or buy separate gifts. If only we could have just stayed there. But no....we had to go home....and to go home we had to get into the car...and that is where the trouble started.

First the oldest two were in the backseat and fighting because one of the Walmart bags were too much on one side and not on the other. Then by the time we were leaving the parking lot they were fighting about the name of a song on the radio that they heard 2 weeks ago!

We live about 2 miles from Walmart and it is a 5 minute drive. In that 5 minutes I wanted to pull over and scream at least 10 times. I can't tell you how many times I had to yell STOP, and still no one listens. Then when we got home it was a fight over who got to use the tape and scissors to wrap presents in the basement. Again I had to remind myself...I am not medicated enough for this!

I constantly ask myself why I don't drink or do drugs. I know it would relax me and help me mellow out, but I have an addictive personality and I can't afford (money and job wise) to get hooked. Plus I like to be in control of my emotions. It helps prevent me from going too crazy...I hope.

But with all of the commotion of the kids going crazy, and my stressful morning (thanks to Janelle to help me calm down my anxiety levels before someone came over), and just knowing that I am alone...again for the holidays...suck.

Today would have been a perfect day to curl up on the couch with a sweetheart and a nice cold drink.
Today would have been a perfect day for a simple kiss on the forehead and tight embrace.
Today would have been a perfect day for someone to say, "Don't worry, I have this" while dealing with the kids.

But instead...Today is a perfect day, because I have my kids...and they are finally sleeping....thank goodness! Also if I planned it right....my meds should be kicking in any day and things should start calming down a little...and all I ask for is just a little...

Time flying by...

Less than two weeks until Christmas. Where has the time gone? For adults it seems to fly by, but I know my kids say it is dragging along. Why is that? Is it because we are busier? Is it because we don't stop to smell the roses? Or maybe it is because we don't seem to change as much as kids do. Once we get to our late teens/early twenties we don't seem to grow anymore. We find jobs and start settling down into a routine. Because of these routines....we don't change much.

But kids, man do they change. They learn to crawl, then walk, and talk, and they start school and become smarter, and it goes so fast. We don't realize this until birthdays and holidays when we think back on the past. Crazy the way that works out.

On Sunday my oldest turned 14. FOURTEEN! I don't remember him being anywhere near turning 14. When did that happen? I remember the day he was born like it was last week. How did 14 years just fly by? Did I even accomplish anything in that 14 years? Some days it doesn't even feel like it. While others feel like I have lived a lifetime already.

Looking through pictures I went through all of the emotions. Happy, thrilled, sad, giddy, angry, successful, lost, energized, and just blah. I thought about all the times I could have/should have done things differently. All of the What Ifs, Why, and What Was I Thinking definitely were mumbled. The good times faded, but the bad times got better. The long days passed, and the memories were made. Every move, every thought, every plan, and every reaction has led me to today. But you know what...it all worked out.

Just because things are going good, doesn't mean they can't be better. They can be tweaked and adjusted, and hopefully...by the grace of good luck and hard work, things get better. And 2015 will be a GREAT year. There are so many things to look forward too.

Starting in January I will have health insurance again (it has been almost 2 years...my choice). So then I can go and get a few things checked out (knee, hair loss, pre-cancer issues, depression, etc). Also after watching so many friends and family do such a WONDERFUL job of getting healthy, I realize that I would like to join that group! Watching Trixie and Molly and others show their posts about working out and eating healthy...I can see the changes and I am jealous!

Two years ago I did great by losing almost 60lbs...but then I stopped and put on almost 30lbs back on since then. Sad I know...I kick myself when I look at the posts and the pictures. But that is my fault and I know how to change it. I'm excited to start and will beholding myself more accountable. I know that there will be some rough patches and I am sure to fall off the wagon more than once...many more...but I want this. I need this. My kids need this. And most importantly....I deserve it.

I haven't decided if I will be posting my progress, or if I will keep that to myself. I'm not sure yet. I do know that everything will be taking place on January 1st. Start the New Year right. My meal plan is in place for the first 10 days. 4 new recipes each day, which I WILL be posting, and I have a few low impact exercises (because of my knee) that I will be doing. And if I fall of the wagon...this time I will get back on...and not wait around for another wagon to show up.

But until then....I have a chocolate cake baking and homemade chicken soup simmering. I also have a spoon in the chocolate frosting...and enjoying every bite (so far only two...or I won't have enough for the cake)! Because life is too short to not enjoy the good things in life. I'm taking the next few weeks slow and enjoying every minute. Because next year at this time I want to be looking back and say...wow this year flew by and look at how much better everything is! That is my goal. That and to remember that most of the frosting NEEDS to go on this birthday cake! YUM!

 

Cupfakes...I am in LOVE!

First off, I would like to say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE expanding foam! I might even love it more than...my duct tape...or hot glue gun...gasp...I know....but this stuff is AWESOME!

So I figured this would be the perfect stuff to help me make some ornaments for my Candy themed Christmas plan. I had found a great site that showed how to make the "Cup-fakes"...and I knew I had to try it!
http://www.theartofdoingstuff.com/karen-answers-how-to-make-cup-cake-tree-ornaments/

WARNING***
WEAR GLOVES WHEN USING THIS FOAM! IT IS SUPER SUPER STICKY AND DOES NOT COME OFF VERY EASY! 4 days later, I still have some on my fingers!

The can of foam was about $3.50 from Walmart, however I do have a nice stash in my craft room (aka basement). Then I found some cute mini cupcake wrappers at Walmart for $1.50 (for 100). It took about 5 minutes to fill 100 mini cupcakes (only fill about 2/3 full).

Then because I still had plenty of foam left in the can, I made a bunch of odd designs on paper (should have used wax paper...note to self). I quickly pushed in the ornament hooks before the foam dried (the outside dries within 5-10 minutes...but let it sit for at least a few hours to make sure the inside is dried).

Then I decided to paint one and see how it looked!...You can see that I had overfilled the cupfakes, but I figured if they were tall I wouldn't need "frosting". I had some fake cherries lying around, and added a little puffy paint sprinkles and it looked cute. But I missed the look of the fluffy frosting.

 

So I went to the hardware store and bought some light weight white spackling (1pt was only $3.50). Some sites said to color it first, but I wanted white frosting, so I left it alone. I also didn't want to waste my good decorating bags, so I used a Ziplock bag with the tip cut off. Plus having it in in a Ziplock bag, helped keep it very soft and flexable while working with it. I waited an hour to make sure it was completely dry!

LITERALLY this was the ICING on the cake! I loved the look.

On a few I lightly brushed brown on the tips to create a "toasted" look. I was drooling...and very tempted to try it, even though I knew it wasn't edible.

 

I even made a "melted popsicle" one...by using broken toothpicks and more puffy paint.

After I played with some of the mini cupcakes, I decided to play with the odd shapes I made. I had trimmed a few down and made some rectangle...and created...an ICE CREAM SANDWICH! Probably the easiest to make. Simply painted the top and bottom...and then just a little down on each side to give the appearance of separate pieces.

 

This was BY FAR one of the most fun projects I have ever done! Expanding foam is so versatile that I have many more ideas I can do with it. Plus it is the perfect product for stuff that will HANG on a tree. The cupfakes...in all of their glory...weighed in LESS THAN A DIME! Yes, you read that right! Super lightweight and durable! LOVE IT!

 

Now off to play with some more....eeeeeeeeee!



 





No Sew Apron

Ok, I have needed an apron for awhile. Mostly because the few times that I do try my hand at cooking/baking, I have a bad habit of wiping my hands on my jeans or shirt...or child. But spending $20+ on an apron that I will rarely use....ehhhh....no. I'm cheap. I knew I could make a cheaper one of a kind one...so I did!

I had seen a lot of Pinterest pages of making an apron out of normal material/sheets/towels/etc...but they all included taking this mysterious thing called a "sewing machine" and putting it all together. Now I do know how to sew. I have had a few different machines over the years. I took a class in HS and actually made a dress. Granted I couldn't wear it anywhere...something about not taking into account extra material for seams...it was pretty tight....but it was enough to get me an A in the class.

Anyway, I do not have a sewing machine. Yes I love to craft, and I probably should buy one, one of these days...but I don't. I guess if I buy one then I will have to buy fabric and special needles, and all sorts of sewing stuff...and that will cut into my personal craft store downstairs....lol. But seriously....I should go buy one.

And because I don't have a sewing machine, I did not want  to sew by hand all the seams and pockets to make an apron. I have an about 5-15 minute attention span to do almost any craft...and that would take too long.

So I spent some time on Pinterest to find a NON sew apron that would be simple to make. I found this one that took an old shirt and just cut out the back. Cute I know, but I didn't want all of the buttons...and I wanted a "normal" apron look....not a shirt without sleeves.

So I turned it around and decided to cut a new "head hole". This is the BACK of the shirt. It is a 2XL Men's Long Sleeved shirt I bought for $3.50 at a thrift store. I followed the seams from the neck, down part of the arm, to the top of the main shirt (If you look at the back of a shirt, you will see the design I'm talking about). I should mention that I wasn't paying attention and ended up cutting an entire sleeve almost off...I had to spend 20 minutes HAND sewing the stupid thing back on. BUT if you do NOT cut off the arm...it is still a NO-SEW project.

Then all you have to do is put it over your head and you are pretty much DONE! What? No way...that is too easy! But seriously, after you put it on, take the arms and tie them behind you.

 

Sorry the pic is hard to see...and don't mind the white powder/smoke look on the mirror. We haven't cleaned the mirrors off from our Halloween party yet. Yes I know it is Dec 2....hopefully I will remember to do it sometime this year.

 

This is the look of the side.

I like it, because it covers my hips...right where I always seem to wipe.

 

But the project isn't done, if you want pockets. Personally, I don't like apron pockets. Why? Because I don't know what to put in them? The whisk? Flour? Measuring cups? An egg? I don't get them. BUT if you want pockets, just take the ends of the shirt and fold them to the front.

Then just add a button and stitch up the sides and you have a pocket! But then it won't be a no-sew project. And yes, I found my Paint program and had fun playing with it.

So if you can find a large long sleeved shirt (bigger is better),  and you have scissors and 5 minutes, you can make an apron. You can do the same to make a kids one too. If you have the extra time and want to...you can add ribbon, puffy paint, anything you like to make it unique.

 

Also you could probably use almost any material that is square/rectangle....pretend it is like a curtain and take some yarn/string/ribbon and push it through the seam (where the curtain rod would go)....or cut little slits in the top of the material and "weave" the ribbon through the holes. Then tie around your waist, and you have a simple apron skirt!







TA DA!

My first Video Blog-Cotton Candy/Ice Cream Cone Lights

Decide to start my own YouTube channel, that way I can upload any future videos much easier. CHECK IT OUT HERE!
http://youtu.be/SDZEW7QWisQ

So I tried out my first video blog thing today. Not bad. I might do it again...seemed a little quicker than typing everything out....until I realized how long it took to upload a video...grrr. Lesson learned...make shorter videos...

On Pinterest I found the cutest set of Cotton Candy/Ice Cream Cone lights (http://www.buzzfeed.com/pippa/fabulous-diy-string-lights-for-a-summer-party-5ocb ). So I figured it would be the perfect project to work on with the boys.

I did have Easton and Reilly helping me today. Surprisingly they didn't complain too much...very surprising....especially if you know them. As long as I let them each take turns with the hot glue gun (I didn't want to tell them that I had another one, because we would never get anywhere), and keeping them focused...all was good.

And it even looks cute with OUT the lights plugged in.



Tomorrow I would like to get another craft project done. Not sure which one...but probably finishing up the Candy Coin one I posted about the other day. http://loggingoffoffacebook.blogspot.com/2014/11/candy-coin-wrapper-craft.html?zx=45a5399857ddf606

I also plan on posting my craft projects onto Pinterest as well. I will make sure to link the original ideas (if there are any), but I am still learning :D

Friday I will only have Reilly, since Easton and Noah will be at their dads house (Easton babysitting and Noah being dropped off by my parents). So hopefully Friday, Reilly and I can get some serious crafting and cleaning going on (he is my good cleaner).

Saturday morning Janelle and I are going to my 15 year High School Reunion. I'm not sure what to expect. I never went to any of the other ones, and obviously I'm not the same person as I was...and....I don't know...we will see.

But I'm exhausted and heading to bed soon, so here is the video...I hope you like it!

Candy Coin Wrapper Craft

It has been a busy week...but now I am off for 5 more nights...time for some serious crafting and setting up the Christmas tree. This year we are doing a Candy/Food theme for Christmas. This is a new theme for us, so that means we have a lot of crafting to do....yeah :D

I have already gotten one driveway and both sidewalks shoveled. Two loads of dishes done and a second load of laundry going. A trip to Walmart to buy ice melt ended up costing me an hour and  $70...because I was wondering around looking at everything.

So now I have reached my limit of extra craft stuff to buy for Christmas decorating. I just have to get started!

Today I would like to at least get the Christmas tree set up. It is going to be a "Cupcake"...with a cherry for the topper! We can decorate it some tomorrow, but just setting it up and fluffing it out will take some time. But the crafting bug has hit...so I am going to make just one sample craft, and hopefully the boys can help with it later tonight.

While on Pinterest, I saw a great idea on how to make candy decorations from coin wrappers. So here are my supplies:

The wrappers are $1 for 36 at Walmart.

The cellophane wrap I bought at the thrift store for $.25 each

The napkins I had left over, otherwise I bought a pack of 10 for $1 at Walmart or Dollar Tree (each napkin can be used 8-10 times.

The scissors I bought for $3, because mine keep going missing.

The double sided tape is the greatest invention EVER! I had some left over from winterizing my windows.

The ribbon (not pictured) I had laying around. But I might use fishing line or thread to tie the ends next time....ribbon is too thick for my liking.

 

So to make 36 of these, it will cost around $3 (not counting the scissors). But I bought two bags, so I can make 72 for only $4. HOWEVER, it will only cost you the cost of the wrappers if you have wrapping paper/tissue paper or any colored paper, tape and ribbon/string at home. NOT BAD!

 

Plus if you want to make bigger ones, you can use your toilet paper rolls, or the core of the wrapping paper...cut into lengths you want! Use any colored paper, and draw/paint on it. Print out sheet music and wrap it around the tubes...so many choices! And super easy. Took maybe a minute each. The longest part was tying the ribbon on the ends.

Can't wait for the boys to get home so we can make a bunch of these. I plan to use fishing line to string them together for garland around the house :D

PS. It works a lot easier if you fill the tubes up with something. I just used the plastic bag that candy comes in. Instead of throwing it away, I twisted it up and shoved it in. Walmart bags work perfectly :D

Music Makes Me STRONGER...but Hammers Still Hurt!

Well now that the Halloween stuff is pretty much taken down and almost put away (sitting in the dining room in boxes)...and I'm not quite ready to put Christmas up yet...and because I have been homebound for the last two days (no $$$ and no gas...lol)....and Netflix isn't working...I decided to finally start my music mural on my bedroom wall.

I called my xh up at work and had him bring me a chalk line thing...so I could make straight lines for my sheet music. However, I didn't end up using it (sorry J). I had already measured all of the lines and put little nails into in so that when the chalk thing did get here, I could wrap it around and make my lines. But I quickly realized that I only had two black markers and that would not last to create the whole project. So I went through my Halloween stuff (good thing I didn't put them away) and found my black ribbon.

I was surprised how quick it was to wrap the ribbon around the little nails....and I loved the result. It gave it more of a 3D look.

Then the longest part was going line to line hammering in all of the little #$&@ nails (to make each note). Every two minutes I was tempted to throw the hammer and just give up...but I didn't...and even more surprisingly my thumb hasn't turned a pretty purple and black color...yet.

I was going to use an entire dried rose head (from this past summer) for each note...but quickly realized I only had 12 roses. Hmmm. Change of plans. I pulled a few roses apart and used the petals to stick on the nails (later, when I find my glue gun, I will glue them down). PERFECT!

Then I drew the Treble Clef and words in marker (the title is done in paint with the purple/pink/gold colors of my bedspread, that my cousin A got me for a housewarming gift). Six more roses were used as a border as well as ribbon. But, I'm pretty much done. I would like to touch up the title to make it stand out a little more, and buy some trim at Menards and finish the border properly.

I thought this project would only take me a few hours....I was wrong. It took about 6 hours because I kept changing my mind on things....and taking time out to ice my thumb. However, the easiest part was deciding what song I wanted to use. Granted I could have just put on random notes, but that wouldn't make any sense to anyone...and most likely...drive me crazy.

So I chose the song Stronger by Kelly Clarkson. When this song first came out late 2011 I had just filed for my second divorce, gone through a personal and private loss, and found out that I needed to have a hysterectomy to avoid cervical cancer. Nothing seemed to be going my way.

I was pulling out of the doctors office after pre-registering for surgery for the following day, when the song came on the radio. I pulled over and cried while listening to the song. To me, the song wasn't really about a man leaving a woman...it was about me against the world. I went home, downloaded the song (legally) and blasted it on full volume for the rest of the day. And, I will admit, I danced. I even did the whole "fake muscle" thing and it felt great.

Music has always had a huge impact in my life, but this song really pulled me out of some hard times. I have heard it at least a thousand times, and every time I dance and smile. Maybe not dancing in public, but I will move to the beat and tune everything else out. So yes, this song DESERVED to be on my wall! I have it right across from my bed, so I can see it and remember it each and every day.

The only bad thing is I have over a hundred little nails sticking out about 1/4 inch from my wall, so it likes to snag everything that goes past...lol. Oh well, it is worth it!

Overtime....too many....grrrr

Overtime always sounds like a good idea...but it is actually a 4 part plan you have to seriously consider. Right before you sign up you are seeing dollar signs in your head. This is the first part. Already planning on how to spend the extra money. Not thinking of having to actually WORK. It isn't until you finish signing your name, when you swear you can hear your boss giggling behind you....rubbing his/her hands together...no...it isn't giggling....it is more of a heckling sound. Shit. What did you just sign up to do?

The second part is when you actually show up/stay late/come in early. Typically you are doing the same work you always do...but it always seems worse. In my case...it is a bad machine...or a crazy material or warehouse night. You know the bosses purposely did this, because you are making time and a half...so you should do more work that normal.

The third part comes when you receive your paycheck. That extra money is intoxicating..addicting...ummm not correct. What? In your head you have calculated how much your paycheck should be...but it isn't. What is wrong? Oh wait...taxes! Stupid overtime not only put you into a different tax bracket and you ended up paying more...but it turns out that your time and a half...ends up being less that normal pay when the extra taxes come out! All of that extra time you could have been doing something else...grrr. And the best part...when someone tells you, "oh don't worry, you will get it all back after taxes"! You didn't pick up all of those extra hours just to get some more money in 2...5...10 months from now!

Wonderful! The overtime process is great! Wait...I forgot the 4th part? No I didn't. The 4th part is when you forget about all of the above...and the process starts all over again! What is even worse, is when you figure out where your tax bracket is (mine is between 20-24 hours of overtime)...and not only do you exceed it...you exceed the NEXT one!

Case in point. I got paid today. I had my normal 80 hours...plus 36 hours of overtime. Then because there was a paperwork mix up I received 12 hours of vacation time (straight time). So that totaled 92 hours of normal time and still 36 hours of overtime. Lets say I make an even $10 an hour (I don't...but $10 is a nice even number)...so that would make it $920 in normal pay and $540 in overtime (at $15 an hour)...for a total of 1460.

Not worrying about deductions...just taxes...I am usually around 17%...which would be around $250 in taxes. So check would be around $1210 (once again not taking into affect insurance/401K/shift differential...and it isn't my correct pay). BUT because I went over the NEXT bracket my taxes went to around 28% at around $400 taken out...so check would be 1060.

Ok now that I have COMPLETELY confused 90% of the people reading this...I will just put out the numbers:
80 straight hours:  $620
80+20 hours:   $830
92+36:  $1080
The extra vacation time was about $105 after taxes.. so there is around $150 difference between a 20 hours of OT and 36 hours of OT. Which is around $9 an hour after the 20 hours! GRRRR

If you wish to spend the time to figure out your own limits...I use the website:
http://www.paycheckcity.com/covaliant/netpayHRatescalculator.asp
I had played around with it until I found my own bracket. Obviously this changes based on your pay and deductions.....but still...If I go over my 20-24 hours of OT...I make less that my starting pay...grrrr

Granted this wasn't my correct pay...but it was the easiest way to show how much taxes you pay when you have a lot of overtime. It is up to you if it is worth it! To me...I need a drink and a hot bath...If I can afford either :/

Not Good Enough....But Still Trying

I looked at myself in the mirror. I turned a bit to the side, sucked in my stomach, put my hand on my hip, raised my head a little, and studied the image peering back at me. Then I let out my breath, dropped my arms, and burst into tears. The voice that resides in my head sneered at me. “You are a fat, ugly, stupid loser. That is why no one will ever want you.” The voice is not nice. In fact, she can be downright callous and mean. I don’t like her. I try to ignore her heartless words, remembering that her cruelty stems from her insecurity. Still, more often than not they find their mark, making me doubt everything I believe about myself.

Why do we do this? Why do we give that little voice the power to drag us down? Why do we so willingly believe the vitriol it spews? That voice has been there for as long as I can remember. I listened to it on occasion, but she grew much more powerful during my marriage and the past three plus years since my divorce. When you get divorced and see so many of your divorced friends start dating, even remarrying, the voice reminds you that you aren’t good enough to enjoy the same good fortune. They’re so happy, and I am truly, from the bottom of my heart, happy for them. Yet, at the same time, I’m envious and I wonder what’s wrong with me that over three years later, I’m still alone.

I know, deep down, there’s nothing wrong with me. Or well, there are probably many things wrong with me … I dance like Elaine on Seinfeld, I daydream way too much, I sometimes leave the house without shoes because I’ve simply forgotten to wear them, I occasionally give myself impromptu haircuts that never turn out well, the list goes on. But, in my heart, I know there’s nothing really wrong with me. I mean, I don’t kick puppies, do drugs, rob banks, like the Vikings, or anything horrible like that.

I know, on an intellectual level, that a big part of the reason I’m alone is because I’ve become highly selective. Once upon a time, I married (second marriage) the first man who came along. He was wrong for me in so very many ways. Everyone tried to talk me out of seeing him, but it only made me want to show everyone that they were wrong, and that more importantly, I was right.

This time around, I refuse to settle — and I have quite the hefty list of requirements for any potential suitors. I know who I am and I know what I want. I also know that being picky, er, um discriminating, comes with a price, and I accept that. I realize I may never come across someone who meets my extensive demands and that’s okay. I would much rather be alone than settle for someone who isn’t a good match for me. (Besides, I can always go with my backup plan, “The Cat Plan” wherein I get a bunch of cats and turn into a crazy old lady who lives alone.)

I know that I have many good qualities. I’m easy-going, I’m sensitive to the needs of others, I’m creative and can think outside of the box. I know that I’m strong and capable and can handle things on my own. I love my kids and put their needs first. I am a good mom and am doing a decent job raising my children. I can roll with the punches that are thrown my way, and every time I’m knocked down I get back up again with only occasional breakdowns and tears. I can juggle multiple responsibilities without dropping too many balls. I have a gift of expressing myself through the written and spoken word and I think I use it wisely to help inspire and amuse others. I know these things about myself.

And yet, it was really difficult to write that paragraph. The whole time I was typing, I was thinking that I sound conceited and full of myself. I imagined people reading it and rolling their eyes, thinking I’m some sort of egotistical braggart. It’s so much easier to listen to that little voice and write a paragraph that lists my faults: I’m fat, I have cellulite on my thighs, and one of these days I’m bound to take an eye out when I wave goodbye because of the batwings that have taken over my triceps. I have wrinkles around my eyes and yet I still get the occasional zit. I can’t do everything on my own. I’ve probably screwed my kids up for life. I’m scatterbrained, I sometimes forget to pay a bill, and I miss important deadlines. In a nutshell, I’m not good enough. It’s just too easy to focus on my faults. And when I’m feeling melancholy and lonely, that’s when that little voice yields its irrational power over my common sense.

But I want to teach my kids to be happy with themselves. I don’t want them to feel like they need someone to be complete. I don’t want them to settle for anyone just so they won’t be alone. I want my kids to know that they are strong and capable and even though it may be difficult at times, they can handle anything that comes their way. I want them to see themselves how I see them, not through the critical eyes of that little voice in their heads. I want them to absolutely believe without a doubt that they are good people who are well-loved and who deserve good things and happiness. I want them to know that they are good enough and anyone who says differently is not worth their time, even if it’s themselves.

I am trying to teach my kids through example that they don’t need someone to complete them and that they’re strong and can face life head-on all by themselves. I hope they see that even though I may make mistakes and I may break down and lose it from time to time, I always get back up, and that is not the act of a person who isn’t good enough. I have been trying to to turn off the voice that tells me otherwise. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a work in progress, but if I can learn to fix a washing machine, I can surely learn to ignore some of the voices in my head, right?
(Note to self: don’t tell any potential dates that you have voices in your head.)

Halloween Party....Fuck It...it is ME time NOW!

So Halloween is over. It was fun. The kids party was a success. I think around 20 kids showed up. Thankfully it was nice outside and they spent most of the time outside. But, with 3 different sets of ages (4th, 6th, and 8th graders), obviously there is some tension....lots of showing off...and minor arguments. All that were taken care of.

Leading up to the party...was crazy. Over a month of crafting. WAY more spent than I had planned. Almost $200 alone in food. I was awake for 2.5 days leading up to the party...and surprisingly felt fine. I was VERY grateful for both Stefani and Janelle for helping me pull this off. They both showed up early to help get the last minute things set up.

Stefani was able to help fix my chili and made it DELISH!  She also made the deviled eggs that the kids devoured. But besides the food, she made the skirt for my Halloween costume. After realizing how expensive it was to actually MAKE the skirt...she found one on clearance for $6...and it was perfect! Adding a little lace and some sewing...it worked out. While she sewed up my skirt...her almost 2 year old daughter painted my toes. Not just my toe nails...but the actual toes too...lol.

Janelle helped not only by sending me craft ideas, but helping me into my costume after the kids party was done...and helping set up the "nicer" crafts for the adult party. She also talked me through the alcohol store...what to buy...and how to leave (I was lost inside).

However...no one showed up to the adult party. Not a one! I had 10 people either tell me the day before or THAT day, that they will be there...but nope. Not a soul besides Janelle and I. I was pissed. The one time I decide to have a party...go all out...spend more than I can afford...take vacation time...miss out on spending a weekend night with my kids...all for what? Gin rummy and half a movie with my best friend? Very glad I didn't waste an hour trying to put the finishing touches on my costume and make up on. Considering by 10pm I was changed into PJ's to watch a movie.

I love Janelle. LOVE HER! She has been my best friend since 7th grade. She knows me better than I know myself...and I can count on her for everything! However...I can spend time with her for free....lol. And with having expectations of people coming over and hanging out...and nothing happening...is depressing. So Fuck It!

I have been "off" Facebook for 2 months and 3 days. In that time...unless I sent a FB message...I received....none. I downloaded the messenger app, because some people I wanted to stay in touch with...and they didn't text. And I realized that I do almost everything I do...for others. So for Halloween...I wanted to do it for me! I wanted to be able to show off what I love to do...crafting. For once...I wanted it about me....but again it didn't happen...so Fuck It again!

I know who my true friend(s) are. I know there were ones that wanted to come, but couldn't...and I understand that. That day did not work for everyone. But still...I was pretty disappointed.  Between logging off of Facebook and a failed party....I'm done trying. I'm done with drama...and putting others first (besides my kids). You want help? Help yourself...if that isn't enough....ask someone else. I am no longer bending over backwards to help others that don't return the favor.

But even though the adult party didn't turn out....the kids had fun. Janelle and I had fun. BUT next time...Janelle and I will just have "our" time with our glue guns and the alcohol that I bought and we didn't use. Great times....and that is all that counts.

I have realized that I seem to make bad decisions when I'm in a bad/grumpy/pissy mood. Usually I just crawl into bed/bath and watch a movie or TV series on Netflixs...and just veg out. But not always. Sometimes I make that phone call....or send that text message...that I regret later. Sometimes I just don't give a damn anymore...and I only think of me...selfish I know...but Fuck It.

So until these bad decisions catch up with me....Fuck It. My favorite saying is, "Don't regret something that once made you smile"....and this weekend...I will be smiling...just saying! And who knows...maybe I will be able to wear my costume at least one more time.

7 more crafts today...still no sleep...

Who needs sleep? Not me! So much done in the last two or three days of no sleep. Well technically I got about 3-4 hours of light sleep on Monday late morning. So...lets see....I woke up at 6pm Sunday night....and have slept about 4 hours since then. How many hours awake??? I'm not sure...can't count that many...BUT I can count how many crafts I completed today. Ok...maybe I can't count that many...but I did take and pics and will post them.

So this post will have a bunch of pics...but not really step by step. Probably because they were super simple to do.

First is the two small wreathes I had to buy and a wicker branch ($9 from Hobby Lobby). These will make my "B" for my BOO wreathes (http://loggingoffoffacebook.blogspot.com/2014/10/my-halloween-wreathes-and-lovehate.html?zx=a7b9eed8a5f7316e). I am hoping to get it done tomorrow. So far I'm really excited because it looks to be a much better fit.

The first real project I got done today was my "Spooky Doll Wall". I had picked up a cheap creepy doll at the thrift store as well as an empty frame for under $3.

And I found the candle wall holders for $.50 each.

With a coat of paint for the doll and frame...as well as the candle sticks...and a cute wooden sign I found for $1 (and painted it orange)....and this is what I got.

I think it turned out well. The kids don't like it because it is creepy. I just need two more red candles...and I should be all set. So I'm going to count this as 3 crafts.

Then last night Reilly and I started the base of our Spider Web ceiling. Noah and I worked on it this morning until I ran out of crepe paper. Finally tonight I had all 3 boys helping me get it finished. A lot of twisting and tucking and stapling...and it is done! This was craft #4.

Before the boys went to bed, I figured I would get the Bloody Bathroom started. I did not have to convince Reilly to stick his feet in the paint. Plus he was all too happy to get a nice warm foot rub while I cleaned the paint off of the floor.

Thankfully the bathroom project took my typical 10 minutes...with limited "blood" splatter.  I will count this as craft #5.

Finally my last craft took about 2 minutes. I had bought some cool "Eye Lash" yarn and just simply wrapped it around my living room lamp. Turned out pretty cute...with the lights off and on...and even easier to remove. I will count this as #6!

This one I can't technically count as a craft...because I did buy it off Craigslist. I ended up getting four porcelain candle holders (2 ghosts and 2 pumpkins), a divided serving dish, trick or treat bowl, Kleenex box, a Potion sign, and three stuffed "creatures"....all for $10. Not bad at all! 

Last but not least, while at Hobby Lobby I found a wooden sign that I just couldn't pass up. Usually I tell myself that I could make it for cheaper and better...but I never quite get around to it. But today, it was half off and for only $5....very affordable!  All I did was add some of the orange paper cordage I am so fond of....and a few spiders...and up it went!

So all in total, I did 7 crafts today! I still have a few more wreathes to do (so many different types I want to try out)...and a couple fake pumpkins I am working on. Halloween party is in 11 days! This week I want to finish the upstairs so that next week I can finish the basement with the kids!

 

I might still work on the "B" tonight before I go to bed. I need to stay up until 11pm anyway (work related phone call)...so I have 30 minutes...and THREE bags of mini glue sticks! I am parking myself on the couch and I have my TV show on...and ready to go!





My Half A Pumpkin Project

Two posts in one day...heck within 7 hours...crazy I know. I need sleep. I tried to sleep for an hour this morning but my mind was in craft mode and I couldn't stop thinking about all the cool stuff I re-found downstairs. So I woke up and made the boys a good breakfast...and still going strong.

I am currently working on 4 different items....all are drying...so I started my 5th one. I found this heart wicker thing a few years ago, and have used it for Xmas last year wrapped with lights. I was thinking of doing the same, but with my Halloween lights and decided against it.  So I grabbed the orange crepe paper and started wrapping. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I was talking with Janelle for our daily craft and life talk and the wrapping kept my hands busy.

When it was wrapped I was trying to figure out how to use it. I turned it the way it normally would have been and it looked like a funny fish...but that wasn't very Halloweenish...so I laid it down and walked away to check on my other projects.

I came back and from the angle I approached it, it was sideways...and looked like half a pumpkin! I grabbed my puffy paint and did a quick half face improve...a little green crepe paper on the top and VOILA! It fits right in the tiny space between my front closet and the corner! PERFECT!

AND while I was working on it...my foot hit a small bag slightly under the couch....any guess what it could be??? Anyone??? MY FRICKEN MINI GLUE STICKS!!! Just ask Janelle...I screamed I was so upset! I searched everywhere...and they were NOT there last night! I think I have someone messing with me! Coming into my house and moving stuff....grrrrr.  Maybe my house is haunted....hmmmm....I can work with that....

My Halloween Wreathes and Love/Hate Relationship With Glue Sticks

Ok, let me get this out of the way. If you do not have a least an hour to read this blog today...then please call in sick...your boss will understand! Just kidding...maybe. I don't think it will take an hour, but I know it will be long...but I have lots of cool picture for those that don't want to read.

 

I know you can't celebrate the holidays without a wreath. I might change it up a little later...because I like thing to look similar. But for today's sake...it worked. It took much longer than the 10 minute crafts I enjoy...plus at least 7 trips to my craft room (which I'm tempted to have the kids move in the basement and bring the craft room upstairs...).

 

And to show the TRUE story of my craft mess...I took a picture of my living room before AND after....4 hours later.  Easton is going to be MAD! The living room is HIS zone to clean this week :D

Not bad. It is cleaned...he did a good job. So continue reading to the end to see the final result! DO NOT CHEAT AND SCROLL DOWN (I saw that)!

 

Ok on to my Halloween wreath(s)! 

 

I had found a wooden "B" at the thrift store for $.50...then I covered it the same way as my spell book (http://loggingoffoffacebook.blogspot.com/2014/10/spell-books-are-donesuper-excited.html?zx=66b3e17ba164a3e2), painted it black with a white overlay. Then I dug through a ton of boxes and totes in the basement looking for my wicker Xmas wreaths I bought last year and never used. They would be PERFECT for my "OO" to spell out BOO!

See what I mean about the "B" being off? Still bothers me....so I might check out Hobby Lobby, because I want a wicker one (or I could go in the garage and make my own with the grapevines the boys and I picked a few weeks ago).

 

I decided to start with the "OO" and see what I could do. The first thing I made was my "Ghost Wreath".

I used crepe paper and a piece of Halloween trim on the bottom. The ghost is made from a paper napkin (like you learned in kindergarten). The spider was just a cheap rubber spider, and the web is white ribbon tied at each section. The web alone took at least 30 minutes...and the back of it looks terrible...but no one can see that. For an additional decoration I added a bunch of the spider rings around the top of the wreath. It worked great because I just opened up the rings and wrapped around the wreath pieces. I think it turned out cute :D

 

The second "O" is my "Scarecrow Wreath".

This one is my FAVORITE! Looks pretty and simple to make...but took the most time because of the "creativity" I had to endure! The pumpkins are just ceramic and I laced a ribbon through them and tied it to the wreath. The scarecrow I bought for $.10 and I just attached it to a small dowel and stuck it in to hold it in place. The mini corn were easy to attach with just some black thread...but the hay bales....those were a bitch!

 

Ok so they weren't super hard to do...just to attach. I have this paper/ribbon/cordage stuff that I really like to use as a natural tie to presents. All it is, is thin textured paper rolled up tight. When it is unrolled it gives a nice texture that reminded me of hay (which I could not use because I am very allergic to it). Below is a bad pic....but it shows what the paper rope thing looks like.

Then I wrapped two different sizes of Styrofoam (I have a bunch I brought home from work...but the pieces I used was cut from a long piece in the box my new TV came in) with the paper and secured it with small sewing needles. Folding it the same way I would if I was wrapping Xmas presents.

Great, I thought. This looks so cool. I love crafts. I'm going to tie down the bales and life will be great. Nope, tried a bunch of different ways to tie the bales down and nothing seemed to work. So I did the next best thing. I used bobby pins (because they were next to me and I didn't want to get up). I bent them around the wreath and jammed them into the Styrofoam. Perfect...but they didn't want to stay very well. Damn, looks like I do have to get up. Just one more time I told myself. I will only go downstairs one more time. HA

 

I just have to glue down the bales...and...hey...where is my hot glue gun? First thing first. I have three hot glue guns...all for different things...and they are all different sizes. So I made a few trips downstairs to look for it. Why a few? Because every time I got halfway through looking through the boxes I had a better idea of where it could be....and nope...it was never there. So back down the stairs I went...and each time I came up with more things I found.

 

When I was looking out in my trunk (at 2am mind you) low and behold I see the cord. I damn near jumped for joy and rushed back inside. I plugged it in and it was then that I noticed I didn't have any glue sticks! That's fine. I have more glue sticks that anything else in my house. No biggy...back down the stairs to grab the sticks...and what do I find? NOT THE FRICKEN GLUE STICKS!

 

For almost 30 minutes I pulled out EVERY box in the basement and could not find a single glue stick! I was tempted to drive to Walmart and buy some, but the kids were sleeping and I worry about leaving them alone at night...because knowing my luck my house would burn down or something...an I would be "that mom" that left her kids home alone at 2:30am to go to Walmart.

 

BUT...I remembered where my glue sticks were! Or at least two sticks...in my purse. Don't ask why I have glue sticks in my purse...I would have to create a whole new blog just to explain it...and I don't have time to do that...so trust me...I have glue sticks in my purse.

 

However....remember how I said I have three different sized glue guns. Yeah, well the glue gun I found was the mini one. The glue sticks I have in my purse....were NOT the mini ones. They were the regular sized ones. The ones that are TOO big to fit in my glue gun. #@&$! I almost cried. Ok, I lied...I did cry...I was so pissed. BUT being a crafty woman...I grabbed for the E6000 glue (it works great, but there is a very strong smell that sticks around for a long time)....empty! GRRRRRR.

 

Thankfully my last back up is the fake nail glue I keep in my tool box . Problem is that it takes forever to dry...and I always seem to glue my fingers together. This is another subject NOT to bring up. I don't know why I can't just keep the glue in one spot...but I have always had the nail glue in my tool box, and not my craft glue box.

 

I remembered to unplug the now very hot glue gun and quickly glued the hay bales down. Perfect! I had gone through 4 hours of taped TV shows (fast forwarded through the commercials of course)...and I just had to finish the "B". I had a ton of energy until I started the "B". I glued a few bugs and eyes down....and even had to staple the stupid bat because the glue wasn't drying fast enough and I was pretty pissy! But thankfully no trip to the ER was needed because I glued my fingers together....AGAIN! Yep, you got...don't ask!

So they were all done! I will hook them together and attach them to the door....after I fix the "B". It just looks out of place. The more I look at it, the less I am happy with it. Yes it is cute...on it's own...but not with my "OO"s.

See how cute they look! I am happy how it turned out. However...as soon as I turned around from taking the picture...I saw my living room. The worst part of doing crafts is cleaning up. I am terrible at that part! And instead of cleaning up...I typed up this blog...and now heading to bed. I'm pretty sure I will be woken up with Easton yelling at me....grrrrr...but would you blame him?  LOL. So guess what I get to do tomorrow? Hobby Lobby for a wicker "B" and MINI GLUE STICKS! And I will hide them EVERYWHERE! EVERYWHERE I TELL YOU! Stupid glue sticks!