Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2015...Bring it ON!

It is New Years Eve! Super excited for this holiday. Even though it is just one date...it is a special date. Today is the last day of 2014. Tomorrow is a new year. Even though nothing really changes...the weather is still cold...the bills are still due...the laundry still needs to be folded. So why is today and tomorrow so important? It is all mind set. It is a new year, and a new year to make changes. This way we can say, "Oh I haven't done that since LAST year"!

This isn't to say that 2014 was a bad year. Not at all. 2014 was a great year! It was the year I turned 33. My last year to be in my EARLY 30's...and a double single number...should be lucky...right?

The year I moved into a place that for once...I felt like I could be proud of it and call it HOME. I would love it more if it had another bedroom...but we can always build one in the basement. But I smile every day when I wake up and realize I live here.

The year when I switched positions at work and enjoyed my job so much more. Sounds crazy to a lot of coworkers, but I really do enjoy my job now. I love my hours and the responsibility I have.

It was the year that I met and had a wonderful time with a great guy that showed me that I was worth it.  Even though we didn't work out, I know that there are great guys out there that aren't just looking to take advantage of me.

It was the year I was accepted into UWGB to finish my bachelors degree. Even though I withdrew before classes started, I was excited to know that I could do it again.

It was the year that I started crafting more and was able to relieve stress doing it. I felt more accomplished.

It was the year that started off slow...and will be ending pretty fast!

So many plans for 2015! Of course the typical ones of getting in shape, and eating healthy. Making a budget and saving money. Cleaning house and getting organized. But for 2015, there is so much more to look forward to!

2015 also brings insurance through work. I have elected to NOT take insurance for the last few years, but signed up for it for 2015. Now I can get a few things looked at that I have been needing to. One is to get my knee looked at and figure out what is wrong and what needs to be fixed. The other is to get my hormone levels checked to see why I have been losing so much hair. Plus some other more personal reasons.

2015 will hopefully bring another new position at work. This time a promotion...hopefully! It would put me back on a 2-2-3 schedule...but then I would be off every other weekend...and spend more time with my boys. It will still be on night shift, but I think I would like it more than I do my current position.

2015 will hopefully put me back on track with my college dreams. Now that my student loans are finally out of default, I qualify for financial aid to help pay for college. Even though I only have 2 years left...It should take me about 4 years to finish...I hope.

But as we all know...we can do the best at planning, but we actually have to put the effort in, if we want it done right. And even if we put in all the effort, it still might not work out. There are some things out of our control. And that is okay.

The best laid plans are meant to be broken...changed...rearranged...and maybe...just maybe...they will turn out better than you could ever imagine! That is my goal for 2015. Things work out the way they were meant to...I will just try to guide them along the current...missing as many rapids as I can...but growing strong with each paddle. 2015 will not be the same as the previous years...it might be better, it might be worse...but it will be new...and that...is all I ask for.

Welcome 2015...bring it on!

Friday, December 26, 2014

Last Facebook Blog

Christmas is over already? How did that happen? We have spent months planning and spending, decorating and obsessing, cooking and cleaning...and it is over already? Now what are we going to do? What is the next big holiday to decorate and get together? New Years Eve? Ehh...maybe. If you have kids, you are at home with them...if you don't you are usually at the bars...not a big family holiday get together. Valentines Day? Nah, that is more of a couples holiday. Maybe St. Patty's Day? Nope, that is more of a "go out and get drunk and puke up green" holiday. Easter! Easter is a nice family holiday...We can start preparing for Easter!

But in all honesty...it will be nice to have this break. With all of the end of the year holidays...this is now the calm down period. To sit back and reflect on the past year. What things worked...and what didn't. What we need to change...or as others say "you don't need to change...but if you want, you can IMPROVE on what you already have"...ehhh.

I know that there are things I want to do different...and things I don't want to change. I know last year I wanted to do a 52 weeks of Christmas thing. I have a small tree that I wanted to decorate every week with a different theme. Maybe I will actually do it next year...or the following year...lol

However, I have been thinking. I was off facebook for almost 2 months...and I actually enjoyed it. There was less stress and less drama. But the temptation was still there to check in. To worry about what others thought. To worry about what others didn't think. Too much confusion. So 2015 will be for me.

I will make decisions that I want. If I want to cut my hair I will....and not worry about meeting a great guy and finding out that he likes women with long hair. If I want to get a pet...I will...and not worry about meeting someone that is allergic to whatever pet I choose. I will learn to say no. I will learn to say how I really feel about situations. I will put myself and my kids first.

I will not be swayed by a cute guy with a so-so promise. I will not plan ahead in a relationship after only one date. I will not be taken in with a guilt trip. I will not stress out about other peoples problems. And I will not dumb myself down for others.

Yeah I know, I have said this every year...and every year...I don't follow through...and I have blogged about this before...but ehhh. Maybe if I type it enough...it will happen.

So this will be my last blog posted on Facebook. I will still be blogging, but I will no longer be posting them on Facebook. So have a Happy New Years and I wish the best for and your family for 2015. Feel free to save the link and check back in...or not...I'm not worried. I'm going to take this next week to make sure I have all my lists in check and plans ready to go. 2014 was a good year...but there is plenty of room for improvement.

But until 2015 starts I have dishes to do...laundry to fold...and 6 legos to remove from the bottom of my feet. Plus because the boys thought I needed something to help me "wake up"...they bought me ANOTHER coffee pot. Exactly the same one I already have. So now I have two coffee pots to use...even though I rarely drink coffee...lol. Maybe they are trying to tell me something.

So now I have two full pots of coffee brewing...and dishes drying...and the kids are putting away laundry...and I am smiling. Even if nothing else gets done this year...today was a good day.

One more week to go...then the new and improved me will begin. Super excited...and of course scared of the outcome. But no matter what, I will have my family behind me, and my friends beside me...and my boys running in front of me...and me...I will be fine. Surrounded by love...and legos...lots and lots of legos....

Monday, December 22, 2014

Not Medicated Enough

Christmas is in two days. I am not ready. Ok, I am done shopping and wrapping, but mentally I am not ready. Christmas is suppose to be a time of family get togethers and being happy and thankful and bright colors...or so we are told. We all have had the years when fights had started...and people were missing...or times were tough. I won't say that this year will be the worst...but it definitely isn't the one I would hope for.

This is the year that I don't have my kids for Christmas Eve. Yes I know this happens every other year....but it is still hard. I love my kids...I really do...but they are driving EVERYONE crazy this year. Not just me, but their dad and stepmom too! The oldest two just won't stop fighting and it raises the stress level up many more that I am medicated for.

Today I brought them to Walmart to finish their Christmas shopping for me and their brothers. I gave them each $30 ($10 for each brother, and $10 for me), plus another $20 to the oldest two to get me a "santa" gift). They took turns going off to pick out presents. It was great! They got along, had fun, and had to work together and either agree to share the money or buy separate gifts. If only we could have just stayed there. But no....we had to go home....and to go home we had to get into the car...and that is where the trouble started.

First the oldest two were in the backseat and fighting because one of the Walmart bags were too much on one side and not on the other. Then by the time we were leaving the parking lot they were fighting about the name of a song on the radio that they heard 2 weeks ago!

We live about 2 miles from Walmart and it is a 5 minute drive. In that 5 minutes I wanted to pull over and scream at least 10 times. I can't tell you how many times I had to yell STOP, and still no one listens. Then when we got home it was a fight over who got to use the tape and scissors to wrap presents in the basement. Again I had to remind myself...I am not medicated enough for this!

I constantly ask myself why I don't drink or do drugs. I know it would relax me and help me mellow out, but I have an addictive personality and I can't afford (money and job wise) to get hooked. Plus I like to be in control of my emotions. It helps prevent me from going too crazy...I hope.

But with all of the commotion of the kids going crazy, and my stressful morning (thanks to Janelle to help me calm down my anxiety levels before someone came over), and just knowing that I am alone...again for the holidays...suck.

Today would have been a perfect day to curl up on the couch with a sweetheart and a nice cold drink.
Today would have been a perfect day for a simple kiss on the forehead and tight embrace.
Today would have been a perfect day for someone to say, "Don't worry, I have this" while dealing with the kids.

But instead...Today is a perfect day, because I have my kids...and they are finally sleeping....thank goodness! Also if I planned it right....my meds should be kicking in any day and things should start calming down a little...and all I ask for is just a little...

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Time flying by...

Less than two weeks until Christmas. Where has the time gone? For adults it seems to fly by, but I know my kids say it is dragging along. Why is that? Is it because we are busier? Is it because we don't stop to smell the roses? Or maybe it is because we don't seem to change as much as kids do. Once we get to our late teens/early twenties we don't seem to grow anymore. We find jobs and start settling down into a routine. Because of these routines....we don't change much.

But kids, man do they change. They learn to crawl, then walk, and talk, and they start school and become smarter, and it goes so fast. We don't realize this until birthdays and holidays when we think back on the past. Crazy the way that works out.

On Sunday my oldest turned 14. FOURTEEN! I don't remember him being anywhere near turning 14. When did that happen? I remember the day he was born like it was last week. How did 14 years just fly by? Did I even accomplish anything in that 14 years? Some days it doesn't even feel like it. While others feel like I have lived a lifetime already.

Looking through pictures I went through all of the emotions. Happy, thrilled, sad, giddy, angry, successful, lost, energized, and just blah. I thought about all the times I could have/should have done things differently. All of the What Ifs, Why, and What Was I Thinking definitely were mumbled. The good times faded, but the bad times got better. The long days passed, and the memories were made. Every move, every thought, every plan, and every reaction has led me to today. But you know what...it all worked out.

Just because things are going good, doesn't mean they can't be better. They can be tweaked and adjusted, and hopefully...by the grace of good luck and hard work, things get better. And 2015 will be a GREAT year. There are so many things to look forward too.

Starting in January I will have health insurance again (it has been almost 2 years...my choice). So then I can go and get a few things checked out (knee, hair loss, pre-cancer issues, depression, etc). Also after watching so many friends and family do such a WONDERFUL job of getting healthy, I realize that I would like to join that group! Watching Trixie and Molly and others show their posts about working out and eating healthy...I can see the changes and I am jealous!

Two years ago I did great by losing almost 60lbs...but then I stopped and put on almost 30lbs back on since then. Sad I know...I kick myself when I look at the posts and the pictures. But that is my fault and I know how to change it. I'm excited to start and will beholding myself more accountable. I know that there will be some rough patches and I am sure to fall off the wagon more than once...many more...but I want this. I need this. My kids need this. And most importantly....I deserve it.

I haven't decided if I will be posting my progress, or if I will keep that to myself. I'm not sure yet. I do know that everything will be taking place on January 1st. Start the New Year right. My meal plan is in place for the first 10 days. 4 new recipes each day, which I WILL be posting, and I have a few low impact exercises (because of my knee) that I will be doing. And if I fall of the wagon...this time I will get back on...and not wait around for another wagon to show up.

But until then....I have a chocolate cake baking and homemade chicken soup simmering. I also have a spoon in the chocolate frosting...and enjoying every bite (so far only two...or I won't have enough for the cake)! Because life is too short to not enjoy the good things in life. I'm taking the next few weeks slow and enjoying every minute. Because next year at this time I want to be looking back and say...wow this year flew by and look at how much better everything is! That is my goal. That and to remember that most of the frosting NEEDS to go on this birthday cake! YUM!
 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Cupfakes...I am in LOVE!

First off, I would like to say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE expanding foam! I might even love it more than...my duct tape...or hot glue gun...gasp...I know....but this stuff is AWESOME!

So I figured this would be the perfect stuff to help me make some ornaments for my Candy themed Christmas plan. I had found a great site that showed how to make the "Cup-fakes"...and I knew I had to try it!
http://www.theartofdoingstuff.com/karen-answers-how-to-make-cup-cake-tree-ornaments/

WARNING***
WEAR GLOVES WHEN USING THIS FOAM! IT IS SUPER SUPER STICKY AND DOES NOT COME OFF VERY EASY! 4 days later, I still have some on my fingers!

The can of foam was about $3.50 from Walmart, however I do have a nice stash in my craft room (aka basement). Then I found some cute mini cupcake wrappers at Walmart for $1.50 (for 100). It took about 5 minutes to fill 100 mini cupcakes (only fill about 2/3 full).
Then because I still had plenty of foam left in the can, I made a bunch of odd designs on paper (should have used wax paper...note to self). I quickly pushed in the ornament hooks before the foam dried (the outside dries within 5-10 minutes...but let it sit for at least a few hours to make sure the inside is dried).
Then I decided to paint one and see how it looked!...You can see that I had overfilled the cupfakes, but I figured if they were tall I wouldn't need "frosting". I had some fake cherries lying around, and added a little puffy paint sprinkles and it looked cute. But I missed the look of the fluffy frosting.
 
So I went to the hardware store and bought some light weight white spackling (1pt was only $3.50). Some sites said to color it first, but I wanted white frosting, so I left it alone. I also didn't want to waste my good decorating bags, so I used a Ziplock bag with the tip cut off. Plus having it in in a Ziplock bag, helped keep it very soft and flexable while working with it. I waited an hour to make sure it was completely dry!
LITERALLY this was the ICING on the cake! I loved the look.
On a few I lightly brushed brown on the tips to create a "toasted" look. I was drooling...and very tempted to try it, even though I knew it wasn't edible.
 
I even made a "melted popsicle" one...by using broken toothpicks and more puffy paint.
After I played with some of the mini cupcakes, I decided to play with the odd shapes I made. I had trimmed a few down and made some rectangle...and created...an ICE CREAM SANDWICH! Probably the easiest to make. Simply painted the top and bottom...and then just a little down on each side to give the appearance of separate pieces.
 
This was BY FAR one of the most fun projects I have ever done! Expanding foam is so versatile that I have many more ideas I can do with it. Plus it is the perfect product for stuff that will HANG on a tree. The cupfakes...in all of their glory...weighed in LESS THAN A DIME! Yes, you read that right! Super lightweight and durable! LOVE IT!
 
Now off to play with some more....eeeeeeeeee!

 



Tuesday, December 2, 2014

No Sew Apron

Ok, I have needed an apron for awhile. Mostly because the few times that I do try my hand at cooking/baking, I have a bad habit of wiping my hands on my jeans or shirt...or child. But spending $20+ on an apron that I will rarely use....ehhhh....no. I'm cheap. I knew I could make a cheaper one of a kind one...so I did!

I had seen a lot of Pinterest pages of making an apron out of normal material/sheets/towels/etc...but they all included taking this mysterious thing called a "sewing machine" and putting it all together. Now I do know how to sew. I have had a few different machines over the years. I took a class in HS and actually made a dress. Granted I couldn't wear it anywhere...something about not taking into account extra material for seams...it was pretty tight....but it was enough to get me an A in the class.

Anyway, I do not have a sewing machine. Yes I love to craft, and I probably should buy one, one of these days...but I don't. I guess if I buy one then I will have to buy fabric and special needles, and all sorts of sewing stuff...and that will cut into my personal craft store downstairs....lol. But seriously....I should go buy one.

And because I don't have a sewing machine, I did not want  to sew by hand all the seams and pockets to make an apron. I have an about 5-15 minute attention span to do almost any craft...and that would take too long.

So I spent some time on Pinterest to find a NON sew apron that would be simple to make. I found this one that took an old shirt and just cut out the back. Cute I know, but I didn't want all of the buttons...and I wanted a "normal" apron look....not a shirt without sleeves.
So I turned it around and decided to cut a new "head hole". This is the BACK of the shirt. It is a 2XL Men's Long Sleeved shirt I bought for $3.50 at a thrift store. I followed the seams from the neck, down part of the arm, to the top of the main shirt (If you look at the back of a shirt, you will see the design I'm talking about). I should mention that I wasn't paying attention and ended up cutting an entire sleeve almost off...I had to spend 20 minutes HAND sewing the stupid thing back on. BUT if you do NOT cut off the arm...it is still a NO-SEW project.
Then all you have to do is put it over your head and you are pretty much DONE! What? No way...that is too easy! But seriously, after you put it on, take the arms and tie them behind you.
 
Sorry the pic is hard to see...and don't mind the white powder/smoke look on the mirror. We haven't cleaned the mirrors off from our Halloween party yet. Yes I know it is Dec 2....hopefully I will remember to do it sometime this year.
 
This is the look of the side.
I like it, because it covers my hips...right where I always seem to wipe.
 
But the project isn't done, if you want pockets. Personally, I don't like apron pockets. Why? Because I don't know what to put in them? The whisk? Flour? Measuring cups? An egg? I don't get them. BUT if you want pockets, just take the ends of the shirt and fold them to the front.
Then just add a button and stitch up the sides and you have a pocket! But then it won't be a no-sew project. And yes, I found my Paint program and had fun playing with it.
So if you can find a large long sleeved shirt (bigger is better),  and you have scissors and 5 minutes, you can make an apron. You can do the same to make a kids one too. If you have the extra time and want to...you can add ribbon, puffy paint, anything you like to make it unique.
 
Also you could probably use almost any material that is square/rectangle....pretend it is like a curtain and take some yarn/string/ribbon and push it through the seam (where the curtain rod would go)....or cut little slits in the top of the material and "weave" the ribbon through the holes. Then tie around your waist, and you have a simple apron skirt!





TA DA!