Wednesday, November 26, 2014

My first Video Blog-Cotton Candy/Ice Cream Cone Lights

Decide to start my own YouTube channel, that way I can upload any future videos much easier. CHECK IT OUT HERE!
http://youtu.be/SDZEW7QWisQ

So I tried out my first video blog thing today. Not bad. I might do it again...seemed a little quicker than typing everything out....until I realized how long it took to upload a video...grrr. Lesson learned...make shorter videos...

On Pinterest I found the cutest set of Cotton Candy/Ice Cream Cone lights (http://www.buzzfeed.com/pippa/fabulous-diy-string-lights-for-a-summer-party-5ocb ). So I figured it would be the perfect project to work on with the boys.

I did have Easton and Reilly helping me today. Surprisingly they didn't complain too much...very surprising....especially if you know them. As long as I let them each take turns with the hot glue gun (I didn't want to tell them that I had another one, because we would never get anywhere), and keeping them focused...all was good.
And it even looks cute with OUT the lights plugged in.



Tomorrow I would like to get another craft project done. Not sure which one...but probably finishing up the Candy Coin one I posted about the other day. http://loggingoffoffacebook.blogspot.com/2014/11/candy-coin-wrapper-craft.html?zx=45a5399857ddf606

I also plan on posting my craft projects onto Pinterest as well. I will make sure to link the original ideas (if there are any), but I am still learning :D

Friday I will only have Reilly, since Easton and Noah will be at their dads house (Easton babysitting and Noah being dropped off by my parents). So hopefully Friday, Reilly and I can get some serious crafting and cleaning going on (he is my good cleaner).

Saturday morning Janelle and I are going to my 15 year High School Reunion. I'm not sure what to expect. I never went to any of the other ones, and obviously I'm not the same person as I was...and....I don't know...we will see.

But I'm exhausted and heading to bed soon, so here is the video...I hope you like it!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Candy Coin Wrapper Craft

It has been a busy week...but now I am off for 5 more nights...time for some serious crafting and setting up the Christmas tree. This year we are doing a Candy/Food theme for Christmas. This is a new theme for us, so that means we have a lot of crafting to do....yeah :D

I have already gotten one driveway and both sidewalks shoveled. Two loads of dishes done and a second load of laundry going. A trip to Walmart to buy ice melt ended up costing me an hour and  $70...because I was wondering around looking at everything.

So now I have reached my limit of extra craft stuff to buy for Christmas decorating. I just have to get started!

Today I would like to at least get the Christmas tree set up. It is going to be a "Cupcake"...with a cherry for the topper! We can decorate it some tomorrow, but just setting it up and fluffing it out will take some time. But the crafting bug has hit...so I am going to make just one sample craft, and hopefully the boys can help with it later tonight.

While on Pinterest, I saw a great idea on how to make candy decorations from coin wrappers. So here are my supplies:
The wrappers are $1 for 36 at Walmart.
The cellophane wrap I bought at the thrift store for $.25 each
The napkins I had left over, otherwise I bought a pack of 10 for $1 at Walmart or Dollar Tree (each napkin can be used 8-10 times.
The scissors I bought for $3, because mine keep going missing.
The double sided tape is the greatest invention EVER! I had some left over from winterizing my windows.
The ribbon (not pictured) I had laying around. But I might use fishing line or thread to tie the ends next time....ribbon is too thick for my liking.
 
So to make 36 of these, it will cost around $3 (not counting the scissors). But I bought two bags, so I can make 72 for only $4. HOWEVER, it will only cost you the cost of the wrappers if you have wrapping paper/tissue paper or any colored paper, tape and ribbon/string at home. NOT BAD!
 
Plus if you want to make bigger ones, you can use your toilet paper rolls, or the core of the wrapping paper...cut into lengths you want! Use any colored paper, and draw/paint on it. Print out sheet music and wrap it around the tubes...so many choices! And super easy. Took maybe a minute each. The longest part was tying the ribbon on the ends.

Can't wait for the boys to get home so we can make a bunch of these. I plan to use fishing line to string them together for garland around the house :D

PS. It works a lot easier if you fill the tubes up with something. I just used the plastic bag that candy comes in. Instead of throwing it away, I twisted it up and shoved it in. Walmart bags work perfectly :D

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Music Makes Me STRONGER...but Hammers Still Hurt!

Well now that the Halloween stuff is pretty much taken down and almost put away (sitting in the dining room in boxes)...and I'm not quite ready to put Christmas up yet...and because I have been homebound for the last two days (no $$$ and no gas...lol)....and Netflix isn't working...I decided to finally start my music mural on my bedroom wall.

I called my xh up at work and had him bring me a chalk line thing...so I could make straight lines for my sheet music. However, I didn't end up using it (sorry J). I had already measured all of the lines and put little nails into in so that when the chalk thing did get here, I could wrap it around and make my lines. But I quickly realized that I only had two black markers and that would not last to create the whole project. So I went through my Halloween stuff (good thing I didn't put them away) and found my black ribbon.

I was surprised how quick it was to wrap the ribbon around the little nails....and I loved the result. It gave it more of a 3D look.
Then the longest part was going line to line hammering in all of the little #$&@ nails (to make each note). Every two minutes I was tempted to throw the hammer and just give up...but I didn't...and even more surprisingly my thumb hasn't turned a pretty purple and black color...yet.

I was going to use an entire dried rose head (from this past summer) for each note...but quickly realized I only had 12 roses. Hmmm. Change of plans. I pulled a few roses apart and used the petals to stick on the nails (later, when I find my glue gun, I will glue them down). PERFECT!
Then I drew the Treble Clef and words in marker (the title is done in paint with the purple/pink/gold colors of my bedspread, that my cousin A got me for a housewarming gift). Six more roses were used as a border as well as ribbon. But, I'm pretty much done. I would like to touch up the title to make it stand out a little more, and buy some trim at Menards and finish the border properly.
I thought this project would only take me a few hours....I was wrong. It took about 6 hours because I kept changing my mind on things....and taking time out to ice my thumb. However, the easiest part was deciding what song I wanted to use. Granted I could have just put on random notes, but that wouldn't make any sense to anyone...and most likely...drive me crazy.

So I chose the song Stronger by Kelly Clarkson. When this song first came out late 2011 I had just filed for my second divorce, gone through a personal and private loss, and found out that I needed to have a hysterectomy to avoid cervical cancer. Nothing seemed to be going my way.

I was pulling out of the doctors office after pre-registering for surgery for the following day, when the song came on the radio. I pulled over and cried while listening to the song. To me, the song wasn't really about a man leaving a woman...it was about me against the world. I went home, downloaded the song (legally) and blasted it on full volume for the rest of the day. And, I will admit, I danced. I even did the whole "fake muscle" thing and it felt great.

Music has always had a huge impact in my life, but this song really pulled me out of some hard times. I have heard it at least a thousand times, and every time I dance and smile. Maybe not dancing in public, but I will move to the beat and tune everything else out. So yes, this song DESERVED to be on my wall! I have it right across from my bed, so I can see it and remember it each and every day.

The only bad thing is I have over a hundred little nails sticking out about 1/4 inch from my wall, so it likes to snag everything that goes past...lol. Oh well, it is worth it!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Overtime....too many....grrrr

Overtime always sounds like a good idea...but it is actually a 4 part plan you have to seriously consider. Right before you sign up you are seeing dollar signs in your head. This is the first part. Already planning on how to spend the extra money. Not thinking of having to actually WORK. It isn't until you finish signing your name, when you swear you can hear your boss giggling behind you....rubbing his/her hands together...no...it isn't giggling....it is more of a heckling sound. Shit. What did you just sign up to do?

The second part is when you actually show up/stay late/come in early. Typically you are doing the same work you always do...but it always seems worse. In my case...it is a bad machine...or a crazy material or warehouse night. You know the bosses purposely did this, because you are making time and a half...so you should do more work that normal.

The third part comes when you receive your paycheck. That extra money is intoxicating..addicting...ummm not correct. What? In your head you have calculated how much your paycheck should be...but it isn't. What is wrong? Oh wait...taxes! Stupid overtime not only put you into a different tax bracket and you ended up paying more...but it turns out that your time and a half...ends up being less that normal pay when the extra taxes come out! All of that extra time you could have been doing something else...grrr. And the best part...when someone tells you, "oh don't worry, you will get it all back after taxes"! You didn't pick up all of those extra hours just to get some more money in 2...5...10 months from now!

Wonderful! The overtime process is great! Wait...I forgot the 4th part? No I didn't. The 4th part is when you forget about all of the above...and the process starts all over again! What is even worse, is when you figure out where your tax bracket is (mine is between 20-24 hours of overtime)...and not only do you exceed it...you exceed the NEXT one!

Case in point. I got paid today. I had my normal 80 hours...plus 36 hours of overtime. Then because there was a paperwork mix up I received 12 hours of vacation time (straight time). So that totaled 92 hours of normal time and still 36 hours of overtime. Lets say I make an even $10 an hour (I don't...but $10 is a nice even number)...so that would make it $920 in normal pay and $540 in overtime (at $15 an hour)...for a total of 1460.

Not worrying about deductions...just taxes...I am usually around 17%...which would be around $250 in taxes. So check would be around $1210 (once again not taking into affect insurance/401K/shift differential...and it isn't my correct pay). BUT because I went over the NEXT bracket my taxes went to around 28% at around $400 taken out...so check would be 1060.

Ok now that I have COMPLETELY confused 90% of the people reading this...I will just put out the numbers:
80 straight hours:  $620
80+20 hours:   $830
92+36:  $1080
The extra vacation time was about $105 after taxes.. so there is around $150 difference between a 20 hours of OT and 36 hours of OT. Which is around $9 an hour after the 20 hours! GRRRR

If you wish to spend the time to figure out your own limits...I use the website:
http://www.paycheckcity.com/covaliant/netpayHRatescalculator.asp
I had played around with it until I found my own bracket. Obviously this changes based on your pay and deductions.....but still...If I go over my 20-24 hours of OT...I make less that my starting pay...grrrr

Granted this wasn't my correct pay...but it was the easiest way to show how much taxes you pay when you have a lot of overtime. It is up to you if it is worth it! To me...I need a drink and a hot bath...If I can afford either :/



Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Not Good Enough....But Still Trying

I looked at myself in the mirror. I turned a bit to the side, sucked in my stomach, put my hand on my hip, raised my head a little, and studied the image peering back at me. Then I let out my breath, dropped my arms, and burst into tears. The voice that resides in my head sneered at me. “You are a fat, ugly, stupid loser. That is why no one will ever want you.” The voice is not nice. In fact, she can be downright callous and mean. I don’t like her. I try to ignore her heartless words, remembering that her cruelty stems from her insecurity. Still, more often than not they find their mark, making me doubt everything I believe about myself.

Why do we do this? Why do we give that little voice the power to drag us down? Why do we so willingly believe the vitriol it spews? That voice has been there for as long as I can remember. I listened to it on occasion, but she grew much more powerful during my marriage and the past three plus years since my divorce. When you get divorced and see so many of your divorced friends start dating, even remarrying, the voice reminds you that you aren’t good enough to enjoy the same good fortune. They’re so happy, and I am truly, from the bottom of my heart, happy for them. Yet, at the same time, I’m envious and I wonder what’s wrong with me that over three years later, I’m still alone.

I know, deep down, there’s nothing wrong with me. Or well, there are probably many things wrong with me … I dance like Elaine on Seinfeld, I daydream way too much, I sometimes leave the house without shoes because I’ve simply forgotten to wear them, I occasionally give myself impromptu haircuts that never turn out well, the list goes on. But, in my heart, I know there’s nothing really wrong with me. I mean, I don’t kick puppies, do drugs, rob banks, like the Vikings, or anything horrible like that.

I know, on an intellectual level, that a big part of the reason I’m alone is because I’ve become highly selective. Once upon a time, I married (second marriage) the first man who came along. He was wrong for me in so very many ways. Everyone tried to talk me out of seeing him, but it only made me want to show everyone that they were wrong, and that more importantly, I was right.

This time around, I refuse to settle — and I have quite the hefty list of requirements for any potential suitors. I know who I am and I know what I want. I also know that being picky, er, um discriminating, comes with a price, and I accept that. I realize I may never come across someone who meets my extensive demands and that’s okay. I would much rather be alone than settle for someone who isn’t a good match for me. (Besides, I can always go with my backup plan, “The Cat Plan” wherein I get a bunch of cats and turn into a crazy old lady who lives alone.)

I know that I have many good qualities. I’m easy-going, I’m sensitive to the needs of others, I’m creative and can think outside of the box. I know that I’m strong and capable and can handle things on my own. I love my kids and put their needs first. I am a good mom and am doing a decent job raising my children. I can roll with the punches that are thrown my way, and every time I’m knocked down I get back up again with only occasional breakdowns and tears. I can juggle multiple responsibilities without dropping too many balls. I have a gift of expressing myself through the written and spoken word and I think I use it wisely to help inspire and amuse others. I know these things about myself.

And yet, it was really difficult to write that paragraph. The whole time I was typing, I was thinking that I sound conceited and full of myself. I imagined people reading it and rolling their eyes, thinking I’m some sort of egotistical braggart. It’s so much easier to listen to that little voice and write a paragraph that lists my faults: I’m fat, I have cellulite on my thighs, and one of these days I’m bound to take an eye out when I wave goodbye because of the batwings that have taken over my triceps. I have wrinkles around my eyes and yet I still get the occasional zit. I can’t do everything on my own. I’ve probably screwed my kids up for life. I’m scatterbrained, I sometimes forget to pay a bill, and I miss important deadlines. In a nutshell, I’m not good enough. It’s just too easy to focus on my faults. And when I’m feeling melancholy and lonely, that’s when that little voice yields its irrational power over my common sense.

But I want to teach my kids to be happy with themselves. I don’t want them to feel like they need someone to be complete. I don’t want them to settle for anyone just so they won’t be alone. I want my kids to know that they are strong and capable and even though it may be difficult at times, they can handle anything that comes their way. I want them to see themselves how I see them, not through the critical eyes of that little voice in their heads. I want them to absolutely believe without a doubt that they are good people who are well-loved and who deserve good things and happiness. I want them to know that they are good enough and anyone who says differently is not worth their time, even if it’s themselves.

I am trying to teach my kids through example that they don’t need someone to complete them and that they’re strong and can face life head-on all by themselves. I hope they see that even though I may make mistakes and I may break down and lose it from time to time, I always get back up, and that is not the act of a person who isn’t good enough. I have been trying to to turn off the voice that tells me otherwise. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a work in progress, but if I can learn to fix a washing machine, I can surely learn to ignore some of the voices in my head, right?
(Note to self: don’t tell any potential dates that you have voices in your head.)


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Halloween Party....Fuck It...it is ME time NOW!

So Halloween is over. It was fun. The kids party was a success. I think around 20 kids showed up. Thankfully it was nice outside and they spent most of the time outside. But, with 3 different sets of ages (4th, 6th, and 8th graders), obviously there is some tension....lots of showing off...and minor arguments. All that were taken care of.

Leading up to the party...was crazy. Over a month of crafting. WAY more spent than I had planned. Almost $200 alone in food. I was awake for 2.5 days leading up to the party...and surprisingly felt fine. I was VERY grateful for both Stefani and Janelle for helping me pull this off. They both showed up early to help get the last minute things set up.

Stefani was able to help fix my chili and made it DELISH!  She also made the deviled eggs that the kids devoured. But besides the food, she made the skirt for my Halloween costume. After realizing how expensive it was to actually MAKE the skirt...she found one on clearance for $6...and it was perfect! Adding a little lace and some sewing...it worked out. While she sewed up my skirt...her almost 2 year old daughter painted my toes. Not just my toe nails...but the actual toes too...lol.
Janelle helped not only by sending me craft ideas, but helping me into my costume after the kids party was done...and helping set up the "nicer" crafts for the adult party. She also talked me through the alcohol store...what to buy...and how to leave (I was lost inside).
However...no one showed up to the adult party. Not a one! I had 10 people either tell me the day before or THAT day, that they will be there...but nope. Not a soul besides Janelle and I. I was pissed. The one time I decide to have a party...go all out...spend more than I can afford...take vacation time...miss out on spending a weekend night with my kids...all for what? Gin rummy and half a movie with my best friend? Very glad I didn't waste an hour trying to put the finishing touches on my costume and make up on. Considering by 10pm I was changed into PJ's to watch a movie.

I love Janelle. LOVE HER! She has been my best friend since 7th grade. She knows me better than I know myself...and I can count on her for everything! However...I can spend time with her for free....lol. And with having expectations of people coming over and hanging out...and nothing happening...is depressing. So Fuck It!

I have been "off" Facebook for 2 months and 3 days. In that time...unless I sent a FB message...I received....none. I downloaded the messenger app, because some people I wanted to stay in touch with...and they didn't text. And I realized that I do almost everything I do...for others. So for Halloween...I wanted to do it for me! I wanted to be able to show off what I love to do...crafting. For once...I wanted it about me....but again it didn't happen...so Fuck It again!

I know who my true friend(s) are. I know there were ones that wanted to come, but couldn't...and I understand that. That day did not work for everyone. But still...I was pretty disappointed.  Between logging off of Facebook and a failed party....I'm done trying. I'm done with drama...and putting others first (besides my kids). You want help? Help yourself...if that isn't enough....ask someone else. I am no longer bending over backwards to help others that don't return the favor.

But even though the adult party didn't turn out....the kids had fun. Janelle and I had fun. BUT next time...Janelle and I will just have "our" time with our glue guns and the alcohol that I bought and we didn't use. Great times....and that is all that counts.

I have realized that I seem to make bad decisions when I'm in a bad/grumpy/pissy mood. Usually I just crawl into bed/bath and watch a movie or TV series on Netflixs...and just veg out. But not always. Sometimes I make that phone call....or send that text message...that I regret later. Sometimes I just don't give a damn anymore...and I only think of me...selfish I know...but Fuck It.

So until these bad decisions catch up with me....Fuck It. My favorite saying is, "Don't regret something that once made you smile"....and this weekend...I will be smiling...just saying! And who knows...maybe I will be able to wear my costume at least one more time.